Frequently Asked Questions
A.: There is no such thing as peace of mind. The very nature of the
mind is to generate thoughts. Sometimes the thoughts are more
turbulent and sometimes more peaceful. The job of the mind is to
churn thoughts. Therefore, if you try to find peace on the level of
your mind you will fail. Instead, you need to become aware of the
peace that is always there. The very one who can observe or
watch the mind is always peaceful. Therefore, if you shift your attention
away from your mind to the observer or Knower of your
mind, you will be at peace.
Q: I have heard that meditation is important for health and a
balanced lifestyle. If I meditate will I develop a complacent attitude
about life and not care about things or feel for people?
A.: Meditation gives you more energy, insight and a sense of well
being, Oneness and love for all people. It is not like a drug or narcotic
that anesthetizes you to life. You will have a full range of
emotions but can free yourself from the useless waste of energy
caused by fears, anger or anxieties that hinder you from enjoying
each precious moment of life.
Q.: I have been meditating and practicing positive thinking for
five years. I feel like I got it but then I lose it. Sometimes I feel
happy and connected with my inner Self which is peaceful, but at
other times I am totally caught up again. Then I start to doubt if
what I am doing is working at all. Am I doing something wrong?
A.: What you are describing is a common experience. As you
progress you are getting clearer, but sometimes you slip back into
old thinking patterns and belief systems. This happens because
these patterns which took a long time to form take time to dissolve.
Just remind yourself of the times that you felt connected.
Even when you forget, it is a kind of remembering because you
are aware that you are not relaxed and you can change it. If you
keep doing your practice you will be able to maintain that higher
state more and more in your life and dissolve these old patterns.
Q.: My husband makes a good living, yet it always seems that we
are short of money and struggling to pay our bills. We seem to always
live beyond our means. How can we stop this bad habit?
A.: Someone who makes very little but lives simply may never feel
that they have financial problems. Someone who makes a lot
may always feel burdened by finances. If you want to feel easy
and free you have to learn to live within your means. Your satisfaction
should come from the joy within your own heart and not just
from material things. These things never bring lasting happiness.
When you find the happiness within, then you are freed from
needing so many things. In fact, you will find that life is even more
enjoyable with less to pay for, take care of and protect.
Q.: My parents are very negative and fearful people. When I am
with my friends I am fine, but when I am around them I start to
think negative and destructive thoughts. What can I do?
A.: The company that you keep has a definite effect on you. You
can excuse yourself from their company or else work on keeping
the thought in your head positive and free. It will be much easier
for you if you stop trying to change them and instead accept
them as being perfect the way they are. You can repeat a mantra
or positive affirmation silently to yourself. When you don’t like
the show on TV you change the station with the remote. When
you don’t like the thought in your head or the company, just
switch it!
Q.: I know that meditation is important and good for me but I
never seem to make the time to do it. Why is that and what can I
do?
A.: Many people ask, why is it that when something is good for me
I don’t do it? You have habituated yourself in a certain way and
now want to change that. The quickest way to do this is to find
the company that is participating in activities that will reinforce
your new behavior. If you go to a meditation group regularly or,
similarly, if you work out in the gym or take yoga classes regularly,
then you will develop this new positive lifestyle change. Company
is stronger than will power, so find good company!
Q.: Why is it so much more difficult for me to meditate at home
than with a group?
A.: It is hard for you to meditate at home because your habit patterns
and environment are not yet that conducive for meditation.
It isn't hard for you to brush your teeth because you have the
toothpaste and brush prepared near the sink and you do it every
day. You can create a place where you can sit everyday with
nice things such as pictures, candles and flowers. You can also
read spiritually uplifting and enlightening books and writings; or
you can listen to meditation recordings that will assist in your meditation.
Then you will have more of a meditative environment in
your home. Group meditation is more powerful because you are
away from distractions and you benefit from the energy of many
people meditating together. Therefore, it is important to do both.
Q.: I have tried so hard not to think negative thoughts and to
change them to positive ones. No matter how hard I try, my mind
just keeps generating negative thoughts and worries. What should
I do?
A.: The nature of the mind is that it is filled with thoughts both
negative and positive, as well as worries, concerns and joys. You
don't think that your eyes should stop seeing whatever they see or
your ears shouldn't hear. Why do you think that your mind
shouldn't think thoughts? The thoughts in your mind will not be a
problem to you when you pause and ask yourself: who is it that is
thinking these thoughts? Then you will get in touch with the
Knower or observer of your thoughts. When you observe your
thoughts you become aware that they are just passing waves of
perception. They have no power over you the observer unless you
give them meaning and believe them. You will gain the power to
let go of those thoughts that aren't useful and bring in the
thoughts that are helpful. You have then become the master of
your own mind.
Q.: I think I may be using meditation to escape my problems or to
hide from my life. Is that possible?
A.: That is a totally incorrect understanding. You have to meditate
in order to have a good life. When meditating you are becoming
strong; then you can deal with everything much more effectively
and efficiently. One is so used to using only the mind to solve
problems, but the mind is very limited. When you meditate you
open up to a more expansive view and then your ability greatly
increases. You can become healthy, happy and live in a state of
freedom and fulfillment.
Q.: How can I handle memories from the past that make me feel
sad while meditating?
A.: What is a memory? It is a group of thoughts, images or feelings
regarding some events that you believe happened in the past. If
they are good you feel happy; if bad, you feel sad. Is there anything
you can do to change the past? Have you changed from
the moment before you had these thoughts or memories? You are
the same person. The mind is always fluctuating and changing
and the memory is only occurring in your mind. If you focus on the
You that hasn't changed, you can create good memories for the
future.
Q.: I have read that being attached to material things and to
people leads to suffering. How can one not be attached when
we enjoy and depend on so many things and people in our lives?
A.: Yes, we depend on things and people for our enjoyment and
ease in living and there is nothing wrong with this. The problem
comes when you think that these things will make you permanently
happy. Then you either need more of them or fear you will
lose them. Therefore, one has to dig for the source of inner happiness
and joy which can't be taken away from you. The things, people
and situations will always change. Even in the most perfect marriage
someone usually dies first. Therefore, to be free of attachment,
you have to know your inner being that is always peaceful,
because it is unchanging.
Q.: I have been trying to meditate for a number of years but always
get frustrated and can't do it. What should I do?
A.: First, I recommend that you find a teacher and a group to
meditate with. Also doing some yoga or breathing techniques first
will make it much easier. With proper instruction and preparation
meditation is easy. Meditation is a state of awareness of your own
true nature. Whenever you notice the space between your
thoughts or at the back of your thoughts and when you put your
attention on the Knower or observer of your thoughts, you will
experience your original state which is always present and forever
peaceful.
Q.: I am in pain over a breakup of a relationship. Even though I
know this is not the right person for me, and that we need to end
it, I am still suffering over the loss. What should I do?
A.: When you think you have gained something you will always
suffer when it is lost. The work then is on your own inner sense of
fulfillment. This requires practice because the human system will
always suffer when loss occurs. This is not your fault, it is made that
way. Gaining the awareness that you are fulfilled within yourself
will help, because, once you have that, it will always be with you.
Through practicing living in this fulfilled state you can remain free
from the suffering of the body and the mind.
Q.: I can be feeling fine and then all of a sudden worries come
into my head and I get very upset thinking these things. I try to
think other things but it just doesn't work. What else can I do?
A.: If these worries were in someone else's head they wouldn't
have an effect on you. If you were watching a movie concerning
a similar drama of what you are thinking, and it was happening to
an actor on the stage, you might even enjoy the show. Through
the practice of meditation you can learn how to de-identify with
these destructive thoughts or worries. Then you will experience the
same peace that you were knowing before the thoughts arose.
Q.: I have a hard time understanding how the being is immortal
and may even reincarnate into another body. I experience myself
as being mortal and, like everyone else who has walked the earth,
I will die. How can I grasp this idea?
A.: The physical body is made up of five elements: earth, water,
air, fire and space. When it dies it will change form and go back
into earth and space. Science teaches us that energy can never
be destroyed. Therefore, even on the physical level you will continue.
On the spiritual level you are pure energy or space and that
never changes. Whether you believe it takes on another form or
not is your personal choice; however, you can directly experience
the Pure Consciousness that you are in meditation. |
